"COLORADO SHOTGUN MASSACRE" JUST DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RING TO IT

Very interesting, very ambitious, and very good article in Slate today about Columbine and the motivations behind it. The author is Denver-based writer Dave Cullen, who chronicled the aftermath for Salon back when he actually stood a chance of getting Salon to CTC (as Rasheed Wallace would say), and he wrote some fascinating pieces back then. So why did they do it?

Columbine was intended not primarily as a shooting at all, but as a bombing on a massive scale. If they hadn't been so bad at wiring the timers, the propane bombs they set in the cafeteria would have wiped out 600 people. After those bombs went off, they planned to gun down fleeing survivors. An explosive third act would follow, when their cars, packed with still more bombs, would rip through still more crowds, presumably of survivors, rescue workers, and reporters. The climax would be captured on live television. ... Their vision was to create a nightmare so devastating and apocalyptic that the entire world would shudder at their power.

And if I recall from other Columbine coverage from years past, they'd wanted to hijack a plane and crash it into a New York skyscraper (presumably from reading this). So, it was all a cry for attention? In so many words, sure. But the kind with an all-pervasive superiority complex, at least in Eric Harris' case.

Speaking of that asshole, the article quotes from his diaries, which are highly entertaining -- at least in small doses:

"YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? Cuuuuuuuuhntryyyyyyyyyy music!!! . . .

"YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? People who say that wrestling is real!! . . .

"YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? People who use the same word over and over again! . . . Read a f---in book or two, increase your vo-cab-u-lary fucking idiots."

Listen moron, you're using the same words over and over and over again. You read a fucking book! Oh wait, you can't! Ha!

But wait, he's not done:

"YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? STUPID PEOPLE!!! Why must so many people be so stupid!!? . . . YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? When people mispronounce words! and they dont even know it to, like acrosT, or eXspreso, pacific (specific), or 2 pAck. learn to speak correctly you morons.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!? STAR WARS FANS!!! GET A FaaaaaaRIGIN LIFE YOU BORING GEEEEEKS!

Wait a minute, "Cuuuuuuuuhntryyyyyyyyyy"? "FaaaaaaRIGIN"? Way to spell, dipshit! Not to mention capitalize! Or punctuate!

Part of me wishes I could get my hands on more of this to fisk at will on days where I have time to post but nothing to say. (This is more often than you might think, which is a depressing prospect for a writer.) I suppose I could -- most of this has been released by the authorities to the public, but I'd probably have to show up in person at the Littleton Sheriff's Department Records Depository between 9AM and 5PM on a weekday. The other part of me thinks that's probably for the better anyway.

Anyway, enough of that. The article is very much worth your time. Go read it. In the meantime, I'll try to get around to posting my conversation with The Frohn.

P.S. All of this reminds me of something highly inappropriate I once published in that magazine I used to run. George Carlin used to make fun of massive-casualty disasters all the time (and probably still does) but in retrospect, I wish I hadn't let this go to the printer.

P.P.S. I won't say who actually wrote it. If you know, just keep it to yourself.

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posted by WWB at 1:11 PM |