GREAT SCAMS OF THE INTERNETHere we have the complete correspondence to date between myself and one alleged "Allan Chungu." As you will shortly see, I wasn't trying to lure this guy (or Madame Philomenia Chungu, whichever) into a pointless pen pal relationship, but that is what transpired.
This exchange was where I got the idea of doing this "great scams" series, so I may have to write back to more spammer/scammers and see what I get. But maybe next time I won't use my work account. Best not to mess with persons unknown using your real name; if you saw "Punch Drunk Love," you'll know what I'm talking about. And I'm not that good with a baseball bat.
Ahem. Installment the second begins with an e-mail that I still haven't bothered to filter through Altavista:
Time: Mon 9/19/2005 7:08 AM
From: Mme PHILOMENIA MALILWE CHUNGU. [philomenia_002@yahoo.fr]
Subject: assistance
Repondez dans ma boite electronique je vous prie
(philomenia_002@yahoo.fr )
Côte d'ivoire
Abidjan
Afrique occidentale
Je souhaite demander pour votre aide dans l'exécution d'une transaction financière. Je souhaite investir dans la fabrication et la gestion de biens immobiliers dans votre pays.
J'ai dix sept million cinq cents mille dollarsaméricains(17,500,000$USA) que je voudrais investir dans la transaction et vous en contre partie de votre aide en recevant les fonds sur votre compte dans votre pays. Je vous donnerai généreusement 15% de toute la somme pour votre aide. veuillez s'il vous plait me contacter immédiatement sur mon adresse privée E-mail:(philomenia_002@yahoo.fr)pour
davantage d'explication.
En attendant votre réponse immédiates
Que Dieu vous benisse
Respectueusement
Mme PHILOMENIA MALILWE CHUNGU.
I wasn't in the habit of responding to scams when I sent this (big mistake, I now realize). At the time it was just for my own amusement:
Time: Mon 9/19/2005 9:07 AM
From: Yours truly
Subject: RE: assistance
I don't speak French. Is there a chance you could try ripping me off en Anglais?
So he's telling me there's a chance. Yes!!:
Time: Mon 9/19/2005 9:59 AM
From: philomenia chungu [philomenia_002@yahoo.fr]
Subject: sorry
ok sorry for the french my mother is speak french we need your assistance if you want to assist us then i we tell my mother ok my name is allan chungu hope to hear from you soon
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It takes some kind of cold heart to turn down a plea for help such as this. What else could I do, but tell him to make it snappy:
Time: Mon 9/19/2005 10:00 AM
From: Yours truly
Subject: RE: sorry
Hello Mr. Chungu. What do I need to do to assist you in assisting me in lightening my wallet? Please respond post haste! I am a very busy man!
I felt like a good person. But now, he was asking for more:
Time: Wed 9/21/2005 8:35 AM
From: philomenia chungu [philomenia_002@yahoo.fr]
Subject: THANKS
THANK YOU SIR SIR FOR YOUR MAIL ANY WAY I WILL LIKE YOU TO CALL ME ON THE PHONE BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS NOT SAVE FOR ME WHAT I WANT TO DISCUSS WITH YOU IS VERY CONFIDENTIAL AND SECRET.I REALLY APPRECITE IF YOU CAN CALL ME WHENEVER YOU ARE LESS BUSY OR YOU CAN GIVE YOUR NUMBER SO WILL CAN GET TAKING .MY NUMBER IS+22508476724 AWAITE YOUR QUICK RESPONSE SORRY FOR ALL THE STRESS.
MAY GOD REWARD YOU BACK
ALLAN.
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Hey, I'm a good guy and all, but I'm not paying for long distance phone calls just to find out which way the scam is going. So I put it as nice as I could:
Time: Wed 9/21/2005 8:41 AM
From: Yours truly
Subject: RE: THANKS
Thank you very much for your heartening reply. Unfortunately I do not know if I will be able to call you. Regrettably, I was born with no mouth. This makes speaking over the telephone very difficult. I do have vocal cords and if I held the phone up to my neck you could possibly make out my words, but this may be unsatisfactory.
However, it is possible that I could set up my computer to speak for me. Would this be possible?
P.S. Are you sure the Internet is not SAVE? What if your phones are tapped??? Because I will have to use my computer to talk with you anyway. I’m just trying to help!
Lucky for me, Mr. Chungu was amenable to my request:
Time: Thu 9/22/2005 6:13 AM
From: philomenia chungu [philomenia_002@yahoo.fr]
Subject: FROM ALLAN
thank you sir thank for your mail all is understood well i can question you just of the condition you gave any please kindly make a way we can both talk well i have a private box which i dont give to nobody please sir always write me from there i will be happy we strat what i have for you for me .when i recieve your mail i will give you little detail what i want you to do for me from there we can commence on it.
thanks a lot for your willingness to help me there is a saying he who laugh last laugh best,he who sow,shall reap.so my father please dont forsake me, at end i promise we shall all smile in good faith that i promise you.
bye
may GOD IN IS INFINITY MERCI GRANT YOU GRACE .........AMEN
BYE MY FATHER
ALLAN.
REPLY BACK TO THIS EMAIL BOX:(allanchungu1972@yahoo.fr)
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I would like to say that I sent back another snappy reply, but the truth is I just forgot about it. Maybe I should e-mail him again.
(Insert cheesy minute-hand screen wipe.) There, done. I'll let you know if I hear anything.
P.S. — After posting this, I decided to go see what Google knew about these characters. Turns out
I'm not the first to get an e-mail from the mysterious Mdme who, curiously, spells her name with an "I." And Allan tells me that she is alive and well, but in a message posted to the
China Daily bulletin board early this summer, he says his mother is long dead! You just can't trust these foreign scammers anymore.
posted by WWB at 7:41 PM |
