DON'T GET 2 CLOSE 2 MY FANTASY (FOOTBALL TEAM)

This is the first year I'm playing in more than one fantasy football league, one through work and another with fellow alums of the OC. Last week The Bumping Uglies picked up Eli Manning (oh well), Clinton Portis (c'mon, shoulder, I know you can do it!), Reuben Droughns (fingers crossed), T.J. Houshmandzadeh (not a Duck, but nobody's perfect), Antwaan Randle El (go Skins!) Mike Vanderjagt (we'll forgive the playoffs) and Washington's defense (uh, not so good last night). Also, just for giggles, I have both Matt Leinart and Vince Young. I mean, one of them will produce... right?

The Zombie Lombardis draft tomorrow, and with any luck I won't have so many parenthetical second-guesses. At the very least, I know I won't be following Page 2's "advice" to make Joey your number one pick:

1. Joey Harrington, QB, MIA -- You just took one of the worst quarterbacks in football with your first pick. The other team owners in your league will laugh at you. Mock you. Call you stupid. But you'll just sit there in silence, staring straight ahead with a subtle but confident grin on your face. And soon they won't know how to react. Why are you smiling like that? Why aren't you responding to their taunts? Do you know something they don't? Is Harrington getting the starting job in Miami over Daunte Culpepper? Is Miami coach Nick Saban installing a pass-happy offense? Are they woefully unprepared for the draft? Congratulations. With one pick you've taken total control of the entire draft. Now they are all putty in your hands.

Poor Joey. It's not entirely his fault, after all. Pretty much everything associated with Michigan is in the crapper these days — 7% unemployment, anyone? "Robocop" was ahead of its time.

Now, of course, Joey's playing backup in Miami, where A.J. Feeley actually once started, just two years and so very long ago. Feeley is now in San Diego, where he takes more snaps from Trey Parker and Matt Stone than he does under center.

Then again, Harrington's going into his 5th year in the NFL, and Feeley, if you can believe it, is going into his sixth. If you consider that the average NFL career is just 3.8 years, then both of these guys are unqualified successes. But not that you'd want to draft them.

Update — Well, in spite of previous declarations, The Zombie Lombardis took one Joey Harrington in the 17th round of 17 rounds, the second-to-last pick overall. My other league only went 15 rounds, so that's my defense. It's not a great one.

Here's hoping Daunte Culpepper suffers a season-ending injury sometime before Tom Brady's bye week.

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posted by WWB at 11:36 AM |