GET MODESTLY WEALTHY OR DIE TRYING

On Friday, the Washington Post ran a front-page story about robberies in the District. Naturally, the most dangerous neighborhoods are in Northeast and Southeast, right?

Wrong. Turns out the most robberies — going on statistics from January through the 21st of last month — are committed in the "most vibrant neighborhoods, destinations for suburbanites, barhoppers and urban professionals" -- you know, like where I live. Just by eyeballing the image below, extracted by Photoshop eraser from this PDF, you can tell the least-safe area is right in the center of the map — that is, my neighborhood and surrounding areas:


We also have twice as many robberies per capita as New York City, and more also than Los Angeles, Chicago and Miami. On the other hand, if you zero in on my block, there is some good news:


You see that street corner in the middle with no red dots (robberies with guns) or black dots (all other robberies)? That's exactly where I live! So if I can somehow manage to get to work without walking any further than the front door of my building — then I'll be completely safe.

But I've actually never felt afraid around here, despite the fact of occasional violence. The worst violence perpetrated upon my person the whole time I've been here was two winters ago when some high schooler tagged me with a snowball — and I thought nothing of returning an extended middle finger.

Besides, I spend too much money on taxi cabs as it is.

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posted by WWB at 8:25 PM |