GETTING BLAZED

I have in the past said that if the Washington Wizards ever came to their senses and went back to being the Washington Bullets, I'd make them my second-favorite NBA team. Well, thanks to people like Gilbert Arenas, the immensely talented total nutcase, and of course sheer physical proximity, they already sort of are. But even here in the District, I still see more people on the Metro wearing Blazers jerseys than any Wizards apparel.

Of course, the Blazers have been getting attention for all the wrong reasons, and I wonder, if the Blazers have finally put together a team that isn't shuttling between team practice and court dates, if that's going to come to an end. In fact, Bill Simmons warns that Portland fans will have a hard time adjusting:

But here's the thing, Blazers fans: You're going to miss the dysfunction. You're going to miss having an identity, even if that identity was a running joke that included the word "jail." You're going to miss waking up and reading stories like "One of our guys was berating people at a charity car wash yesterday," or having a buddy call you just to ask, "Guess who just got arrested with pot in his car?" You're going to miss wondering if two teammates are about to come to blows in the huddle, and you're definitely going to miss those wacky stories about pit-bull fights and guys trying to sneak marijuana through an airport security. Now you're just a fan of another NBA lottery team. You're nothing special. That's why you feel hollow inside. You're like Red after he gets out in "Shawshank" -- you can't make it on the outside. By December, you'll be rooting for Randolph to rob a gas station or something. Just remember we had this conversation.

But hey, they won their first game! And even Simmons seems to be on the Brandon Roy Rookie of the Year ("ROY") bandwagon. So maybe things aren't quite so grim? Well, they probably are. But still. It's better than losing your team to Oklahoma City.

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posted by WWB at 12:10 PM |